How to deal with anxiety

Anxiety, like stress, is common in all our lives. Stress is a response to an external stimulus, and ideally, once the stressor is no longer present, we return to our "normal." Anxiety, on the other hand, is usually triggered by excessive thoughts about the past (judgments) and the future (worries)—the stimulus that brings anxiety is typically internal.

Both are normal responses to challenges and uncertainties and, like almost everything in life, have their positive side. Moderate doses of stress can induce peaks of performance; we call this state "flow." Anxiety, on the other hand, serves as a warning about something we should pay attention to, prepare for, and protect ourselves from. But to take advantage of the positive side of anxiety, it is necessary to learn to deal with it and not let it take over.

Stress can be a source of anxiety for many of us, causing us to enter a loop of negative sensations such as fear, worry, shame, negative thoughts, and self-criticism. We lose the ability to focus on what we need to do and to generate creative solutions, and our productivity plummets.

Rumination is a behavior associated with anxiety. We keep reviewing the situations where we wish we had done better or done something differently. "I shouldn't have said that." "I should have given my opinion." "How could I have been late to that important meeting!?" This type of thinking generates severe self-criticism, and we continue to ruminate on things like, "Why am I not more disciplined?" and "I should be more organized."

One of the big problems with this reaction is that we often deceive ourselves into believing that, by ruminating, we are working to solve an issue. In fact, we are only feeding our anxiety and "shutting down" the part of our brain responsible for problem-solving. For example, there is a study that shows that women with a tendency to ruminate take up to a month longer (than those without this tendency) to see a doctor after finding a lump in their breast.

The good news is that there are several ways to deal with anxiety, minimize its negative effects, and benefit from its positive side.An important first step is to identify when it is setting in.

·      Where in our bodies do we feel it? A tightness in the heart, a racing heart, a pit in the stomach, sweat on the palms, cold or heat...

·      What causes us anxiety, i.e., what are our triggers? Speaking in public, making presentations, working with people who seem to be more intelligent or more specialized, making financial decisions...

This curiosity about our anxiety is already a way to reduce its effects, because by stopping to identify how we are feeling and what triggered our sensations, we are distancing ourselves, gaining perspective, slowing down, and, using Daniel Kahneman's terminology, turning off System 1 and activating System 2.

A good way to deal with anxiety, after having identified it, is by controlling our breathing. Mindfulness techniques help reduce anxiety because they activate the prefrontal cortex, the part of our brain responsible for concentration and decision-making, and they help us calm down and increase our focus. Among the many mindfulness techniques, there are breathing exercises that are easy and can be done anywhere. I share here two quick exercises:

·      A good and easy breathing exercise is the one taught by Stanford neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Huberman in his podcast: inhale twice in a row, filling the lungs. Then exhale slowly.

·      Another well-known exercise is box breathing: inhale slowly counting to four, hold the breath counting to four, exhale slowly counting to four, hold the breath again counting to four.

Another way to deal with anxiety is to take action, to take the first step, no matter how small it is. Open the spreadsheet and fill in the first line, open Word and write the first paragraph, call the doctor and schedule the appointment, and set up the meeting with the boss.

Completing a task releases dopamine, which is a hormone that drives us to do more, leading us to repeat that action to receive more hits of dopamine. It can create a virtuous cycle where we start by filling in a line of the spreadsheet or writing the first paragraph, and before we know it, we've completed our task.

An interesting practice, proven by a series of recent studies, is to change our internal dialogue. The idea is: If a friend of mine were going through the same situation, I would probably have words of calm and encouragement for that person. So, talk to myself as if I were talking to a friend. With the same understanding, patience, and generosity.

One way to generally reduce anxiety levels is to follow routines, as they signal to our brain that we are safe. Simple routines like waking up at the same time every day, reading the newspaper while having breakfast, checking emails at the end of the morning and the end of the afternoon, closing the windows before turning off the office lights, and exercising at the end of the day. It doesn't matter which routine we choose; what's important is that we commit to following it.

One way to stick to the chosen routine is to think of our discipline as a form of self-care. Instead of thinking, "I have to read for 30 minutes every morning," change it to "I can/want/have the privilege of being able to read for 30 minutes every morning." The way we see things changes our relationship with them.

There are other activities that, included in our weekly routine, can help us reduce anxiety levels, such as engaging in physical activities, painting, doing ceramics, and crocheting. Finding what we like and what works for us is a way to maintain discipline.

Self-awareness is also an important aid for dealing with anxiety in general. Rasmus Hougaard (founder and CEO of the Potential Project) and Jacqueline Carter (partner and director of the Potential Project) offer suggestions for questions to ask ourselves:

·      What parts of the day bring me the highest levels of focus, energy, and productivity?

·      On what occasions does my mind get lost in worries and stress? What are the triggers?

·      How does sleep affect my mood and my responses in challenging moments?

·      Do I feel more comforted and resilient spending time alone or with other people?

·      Am I making the best decisions based on my personality style?

With more knowledge and awareness about our functioning patterns, we can make adjustments to optimize our routine during times or before situations that we know will be anxiety-inducing. For example, more extroverted people can have lunch with friends before an important meeting in the early afternoon. People who function better in the morning can try to concentrate on important and more challenging tasks and meetings during this part of the day.

These are ways to better prepare ourselves for challenging situations. Other forms of preparation and planning also help a lot, since anxiety is a way to alert us to important situations for which we should plan or protect ourselves. Reviewing the presentation, asking colleagues for feedback before presenting the project to the boss, seeking to calm ourselves, and being at our best before entering a meeting with people we don't yet trust. Knowing that we are doing our best helps a lot to reduce anxiety.

There are many healthy ways to deal with our anxiety. It is important to identify which tips are useful for us and to discipline ourselves to follow them both in our routine and in challenging and stressful situations.

By Alessandra Corrêa